I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How drunk are you?
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