Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
