Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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