Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
