In the future we'll all be gay
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
