I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The beer is more important than you right now.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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