Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
