He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
