Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
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Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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