Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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