the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
