That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
