He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.