The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.