Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
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Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
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You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.