we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
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she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
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I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.