What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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