fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
