it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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