dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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