I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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