Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
