this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
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He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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