She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
