She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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