Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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