just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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