I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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