the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
