i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
now i know why i became what i already was.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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