god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
