ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
