you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
