Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
