You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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