his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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