don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
