I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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