Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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