So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
