I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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