this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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