"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
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All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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