Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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