Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Come back. Shots need mouths.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
