Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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