he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
