I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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