the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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