ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
