bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The beer is more important than you right now.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
