hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
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