My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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