Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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