One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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