I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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