Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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